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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I like you so much, I’d actually learn your phone number.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Breaking via YouTube:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Trending via WeChat:

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

Live now on Twitch:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Shared recently on Threads:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

Breaking via Threads:

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

Spotted on Messenger:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Trending via Snapchat:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

Funny brisk quotes

Funny brisk quotes are your perfect dose of quick wit and laughs that brighten any day! 😂⚡ Whether you need a clever pick-me-up or a snappy comeback, these zesty one-liners deliver humor at lightning speed. 🚀✨ Get ready to share some giggles and keep the vibes lively with these sharp, playful gems that are as refreshing as a cool breeze on a sunny morning! 🌬️😄

New funny brisk quotes 👇

All funny brisk quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Facebook this month:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

They should invent a day where you aren’t tired.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

A McRib killed my tapeworm.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

97 shares on X this month:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

67 shares on Threads this month:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Study international relations and political science if you watch the news and think, I’d like this to make me even more depressed.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,281

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

This cucumber Gatorade got me quenched in an unprecedented manner.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.

Trending via Threads:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Spotted on Threads:

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

Spotted on Discord:

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

Just landed via Threads:

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

Going viral on Discord:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Spotted on Slack:

Easiest way to ragebait a finance bro is to start the ‘why can’t we print more money’ conversation.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Just shared via Slack:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

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