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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

12 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Trending via Pinterest:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

Breaking via Twitch:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Shared recently on Slack:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Making waves on Snapchat:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Trending via WhatsApp:

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

Just landed via Facebook:

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

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Funny campus quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

12 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Normalize mouthing the lyrics to the song in your headphones in public.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

Making waves on Instagram:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

Breaking via Threads:

I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

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