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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2440 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,602

Funny Quotes Topics

15,268

Funny Quotes Images

12,602

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

Trending via Facebook:

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

Just shared via Reddit:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Shared recently on YouTube:

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

Live now on Twitch:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Reported on Messenger:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

Spreading quickly via X:

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

Just shared via Discord:

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2440 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,602

Funny Quotes Topics

15,268

Funny Quotes Images

12,602

Updated

17 minutes ago

Users Online

3,462

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Making waves on WeChat:

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

Making waves on YouTube:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

Freshly posted on X:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Breaking via Reddit:

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

Freshly posted on Twitch:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Shared recently on Threads:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

Broadcasted on Discord:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

They should invent a way to delete other people’s posts.

Spreading quickly via X:

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

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