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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Jan 7, 2026

3,327

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Going viral on Telegram:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

Just landed via TikTok:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

Shared recently on Messenger:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Just landed via YouTube:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Funny canine quotes

Funny canine quotes bring endless smiles and tail-wagging laughs 🐶😂 Whether your pup is a mischievous troublemaker or a cuddle expert, these witty words capture the hilarious side of doggy life 🐾🎉 Get ready to paws and chuckle as we celebrate our furry friends’ goofy antics and heartwarming charm 🦴💬 Let the fun begin!

New funny canine quotes 👇

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

0

2 months ago

always, bandana, canine, dog, gang, gone, groomer, home, hours, humor, i, love, loyalty, only, pet, three, time, transformation

Someone from 🇺🇿 has recently copied this quote.

83 shares on Reddit this month.
My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

0

2 months ago

canine, dog, folium, folium lanceolatum, humor, joke, just, lanceolatum, leaf, nature, pets, tracking

Someone from 🇱🇦 has recently copied this quote.

46 shares on X this month.

All funny canine quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Reddit this month:

Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

57 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

50 shares on X this month:

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

30 shares on Discord this month:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t come to my house unannounced. I will stare at you from my window.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,311

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Cool times create cool guys.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

What happened to the huge corporate Christmas parties you see in all the ’90s movies? Seems like that doesn’t exist at all anymore.

Spotted on Instagram:

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

Trending via Twitch:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

Trending via TikTok:

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

Spotted on Messenger:

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Broadcasted on X:

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

Trending via Facebook:

My life is based on a true story.

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