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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I love my bed so much, what a place.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

15 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

Making waves on YouTube:

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

Breaking via Discord:

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

Freshly posted on Threads:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Reported on YouTube:

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

Broadcasted on X:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

15 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

Trending via Discord:

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

Spotted on Discord:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Spreading quickly via X:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Seen just now on Threads:

They should invent a day where you aren’t tired.

Making waves on X:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

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