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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

You only live once and thank God for that.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

If it ain’t broke, my kids haven’t used it yet.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Going viral on Telegram:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Trending via WeChat:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Trending via Threads:

Dear everyone. Upset, bored, angry or hungry. I’m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.

Just shared via Instagram:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

Trending via WeChat:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Making waves on Instagram:

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

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Funny cognition quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,420

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

“It can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Live now on Slack:

Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

Going viral on YouTube:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

Breaking via Slack:

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

Spotted on Telegram:

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

Shared recently on Facebook:

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

Spotted on WeChat:

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

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