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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Just landed via Threads:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

No, it’s fine. I watched some cartoons and now I feel a little more at ease with your stupidness.

Spotted on Twitch:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

Shared recently on Instagram:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Spreading quickly via X:

Work for a living? In this economy?

Seen just now on WeChat:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,455

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

Just shared via TikTok:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

Reported on WeChat:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Reported on Threads:

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

Shared recently on Instagram:

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

Going viral on Snapchat:

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

Reported on Telegram:

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Spotted on Slack:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

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