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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2405 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,567

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,567

Updated

26 minutes ago

Users Online

3,463

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Trending via TikTok:

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

Making waves on Snapchat:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Trending via Discord:

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

Making waves on TikTok:

Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

Reported on YouTube:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2405 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,567

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,567

Updated

26 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

Making waves on Instagram:

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Trending via Pinterest:

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

Live now on Slack:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Making waves on Slack:

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

Spotted on Telegram:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

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