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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

If I could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, I’d pick living.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

Live now on Messenger:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Spotted on Facebook:

I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

Spotted on Telegram:

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

Spotted on Instagram:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

Live now on X:

Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

Funny consumer experience quotes

New funny consumer experience quotes 👇

By now, we’ve all figured out that these LED bulbs don’t actually last 15 years, but we’ve collectively decided to just let it slide.

7 days ago

actually, agreement, bulb, collective, collective agreement, consumer, consumer experience, exaggeration, expectation, experience, humor, just, last, led, LED bulb, let, lifespan, lightbulb, reality, slide, technology

All funny consumer experience quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Instagram this month:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

16 shares on X this month:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

11 shares on Slack this month:

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

98 shares on Slack this month:

My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where it’s air conditioned.

93 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

Just shared via Slack:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Just landed via Discord:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Going viral on Messenger:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

Making waves on Facebook:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

Shared recently on TikTok:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Just shared via YouTube:

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Going viral on WeChat:

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Wordgag ツ

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Funny consumer experience quotes

New funny consumer experience quotes 👇

By now, we’ve all figured out that these LED bulbs don’t actually last 15 years, but we’ve collectively decided to just let it slide.

All funny consumer experience quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨