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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2517 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,679

Funny Quotes Topics

15,346

Funny Quotes Images

12,679

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,465

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Freshly posted on Discord:

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

Making waves on Discord:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

Seen just now on Threads:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2517 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,679

Funny Quotes Topics

15,346

Funny Quotes Images

12,679

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,461

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

Shared recently on Discord:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

Live now on Threads:

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

Reported on YouTube:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

Seen just now on Discord:

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

Shared recently on Twitch:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Making waves on Facebook:

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

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