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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Be the spooky thing in the woods that you wish to see in the world.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I think we just need to accept that the 90’s was our peak as a species.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,505

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

Shared recently on Twitch:

There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

Spotted on X:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Just landed via WeChat:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Funny dearly quotes

New funny dearly quotes 👇

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

0

2 months ago

beloved, communication, dearly, Dearly Beloved, emails, giving, hard, hr, humor, me, office, time, work, workplace

Someone from 🇱🇮 has recently bookmarked this quote.

114 shares on Reddit this month.

All funny dearly quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

36 shares on Discord this month:

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

49 shares on Threads this month:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

13 shares on Reddit this month:

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

39 shares on Discord this month:

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

No, you’re not a “prompt engineer,” you’re a sloperator.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I just got lied to by 3K+ people. That recipe was awful.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Making waves on Instagram:

Another customer getting a haircut started talking to my barber. Please don’t talk to my barber. You have your own.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I remember when I was broke… I’m still broke, that’s why I remember so well.

Making waves on Threads:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

Breaking via Telegram:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

Going viral on TikTok:

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

Making waves on TikTok:

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

Live now on LinkedIn:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

Trending via Instagram:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny dearly quotes

New funny dearly quotes 👇

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

All funny dearly quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨