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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2251 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,413

Funny Quotes Topics

15,120

Funny Quotes Images

12,413

Updated

47 minutes ago

Users Online

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Just shared via Messenger:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Just shared via YouTube:

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

Just landed via Instagram:

Wow, another wooden ball. Would it kill avocado makers to put a different toy in there?

Live now on Threads:

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

Shared recently on Discord:

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

Trending via Messenger:

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

Breaking via Threads:

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Seen just now on X:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication dating day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2251 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,413

Funny Quotes Topics

15,120

Funny Quotes Images

12,413

Updated

47 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

The future is buffering.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

Going viral on Reddit:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Just shared via Reddit:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Seen just now on X:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

Trending via TikTok:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

Making waves on Snapchat:

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

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