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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

My favorite hobby is withering away.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I read that Miley Cyrus will be starring in a remake of Silence of the Lambs. She’ll be playing Hannibal Montannibal.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2545 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,707

Funny Quotes Topics

15,365

Funny Quotes Images

12,707

Updated

4 hours ago

Users Online

3,463

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

Trending via Threads:

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

Making waves on WeChat:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Live now on Telegram:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Live now on Pinterest:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Breaking via Threads:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Going viral on Messenger:

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

Just landed via X:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2545 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,707

Funny Quotes Topics

15,365

Funny Quotes Images

12,707

Updated

4 hours ago

Users Online

3,467

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Live now on WeChat:

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them.

Spotted on WeChat:

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

Just landed via YouTube:

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

Going viral on YouTube:

An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

Shared recently on Discord:

If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

Making waves on Facebook:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

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