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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I get writer’s block responding to people.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

You will watch an old classic movie that kind of sucks. Then, on the IMDb trivia, it says, this was the first time a film director ever pointed the camera at the sun.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,583

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Seen just now on X:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

Just landed via YouTube:

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

Just shared via Instagram:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Why do babies cry when they are tired? Like, just go to sleep, bro, no one is stopping you.

Breaking via Messenger:

I miss when YouTubers would just record for, like, 20 minutes, and upload the whole thing completely unedited.

Live now on Threads:

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

Just shared via Facebook:

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

Live now on Reddit:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Funny Don quotes

New funny Don quotes 👇

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

1 week ago

Don, humor, husband, i, joke, just, last, name, relationship, walk, wordplay

All funny Don quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Threads this month:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

100 shares on Facebook this month:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

18 shares on WeChat this month:

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

13 shares on Discord this month:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Man, these end times are taking forever.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Making waves on Telegram:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

Live now on Discord:

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

Making waves on Slack:

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

Going viral on Threads:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Spotted on Instagram:

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

Live now on TikTok:

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

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Funny Don quotes

New funny Don quotes 👇

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

All funny Don quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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