Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,307

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Shared recently on WeChat:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’m still repaying karmic debt from that time I was 12 and gave the middle finger to a cow at the state fair.

Seen just now on X:

I tried selling my soul to the devil, and he said no.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Just shared via WeChat:

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I love when the plot thickens.

Breaking via Reddit:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Just landed via Telegram:

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Funny don’t think quotes

New funny don’t think quotes 👇

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

1 week ago

day, don’t, don’t think, humor, humor quote, i, invent, should, think, thought, where

All funny don’t think quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Messenger this month:

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

52 shares on Threads this month:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

79 shares on WeChat this month:

Passive income? Brothers, I need massive income.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I don’t have an advent calendar, so I’m just opening cupboard doors and eating what’s in there.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

The problem is I am always the problem.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

Shared recently on Twitch:

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

Seen just now on Reddit:

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

Trending via Snapchat:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Breaking via Messenger:

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

Making waves on Facebook:

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

Making waves on Discord:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

Just landed via Telegram:

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny don’t think quotes

New funny don’t think quotes 👇

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

All funny don’t think quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨