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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Man, these end times are taking forever.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

770 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,932

Funny Quotes Topics

13,903

Funny Quotes Images

10,932

56 minutes ago

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

Making waves on TikTok:

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

Just shared via Messenger:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I would rather lose you than the argument.

Going viral on Snapchat:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Making waves on YouTube:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

Making waves on Reddit:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Making waves on X:

Shorts should be half the price of pants.

Just landed via Telegram:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Going viral on YouTube:

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

Home » Funny Drinker Quotes

Funny drinker quotes

New funny drinker quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the early bird catches the laughter! 🐦🍻 Who needs caffeine when you've got a mug full of humor by 9 am? 😆 Cheers to the real MVPs of morning mischief! 🥳☕️"

For even more funny drinker quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny drinker quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

770 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,932

Funny Quotes Topics

13,903

Funny Quotes Images

10,932

56 minutes ago

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Shared recently on Threads:

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

Trending via Snapchat:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

Live now on Threads:

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

Spotted on Slack:

I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

Shared recently on Discord:

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

Spotted on WeChat:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Just landed via Facebook:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

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