Skip to content
  • Privacy
  • Disclaimer
  • Terms & Conditions
Wordgag

10,000+ Funny Quotes

  • ⚡ Funny Quotes Slot →
Popular Topics 🚀
mental health routine satire exercise after comfort childhood relationships stop better memory thought old wish eat nature change honesty movie myself everything office own sorry travel Christmas laziness pun self-care trying self anxiety fashion girl talk around actually here experience name thinking ID men snack misunderstanding next coffee friendship marriage used
Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New funny quotes: 6 this month

15,831 funny quotes and pics

17,824 funny quotes topics

Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

129 Funny drinking quotes

Funny drinking quotes capture the moments when a little too much wine (or tequila) turns ordinary situations into comedy gold! 😂🍻 Whether it’s trying to remember what happened last night, debating if it’s too early for a cocktail, or simply enjoying the freedom of a drink with friends, these quotes remind us that drinking isn’t just about the beverages — it’s about the laughs that come with every sip. Cheers to that! 😆🥂🍸

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Drinking 3L of water daily helps you avoid other people’s drama because you’re too busy peeing. Stay hydrated.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Posts navigation

Older posts
Newer posts

© 2026 Wordgag Inc.

>>> Random Quotes ✨