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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Alexa, mute my children.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

814 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,976

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,976

Updated

58 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

Going viral on Threads:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Seen just now on Discord:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

Spotted on Slack:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

Going viral on Slack:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

814 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,976

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,976

Updated

58 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Spotted on Reddit:

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

Reported on X:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Seen just now on Instagram:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Seen just now on Discord:

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Reported on Telegram:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

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