Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,612

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Why do flat earthers care so much? Like, what if the Earth is flat. What now?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

Just shared via Slack:

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

Breaking via Threads:

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to.

Going viral on Messenger:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Spotted on WeChat:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Trending via Pinterest:

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

Funny elite quotes

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New funny elite quotes 👇

All funny elite quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Messenger this month:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

14 shares on Discord this month:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

18 shares on Slack this month:

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

75 shares on Messenger this month:

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

46 shares on Discord this month:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Please make sure you are only drinking as much water as you REALLY need. We need that for the data centers. If you’re thirsty, AI is thirsty too.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,293

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

The miracle of DoorDash is that I just pick up my phone, punch a few things into it, and within half an hour I have, at my door, a $52 salad.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Online dating is stupid because scent is such an important factor of attraction.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Me: Do you have the movie I want to watch? Netflix: No, but we have hundreds of movies that you don’t want to watch!

Just shared via YouTube:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

Trending via Reddit:

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Men be like, yes, I hurt you, but now you hate me, so I am the true victim.

Shared recently on Messenger:

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

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