Commentary:
Sounds like living in a beauty pageant with constant plot twists! 👀👗🏙️
395 Funny every quotes
Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.
Commentary:
This is too sweet—I might just melt before Christmas! 🎄😁
Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.
Commentary:
Sounds like the perfect chance to win the "Most Overwhelmed Dating Experience" award 🏆😅🧠
Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’
Commentary:
When you’re reading and hit a name roadblock, so your brain goes full keyboard smash mode! 🤯📚😂
I think every app should, by law, let you deactivate all of its short-form video content.
Commentary:
Finally, a legal requirement we can all stand behind – free us from endless scrolling, one app at a time! 🚫📱🎉
Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.
Commentary:
Walking into a CVS is like entering the Bermuda Triangle of last-minute purchases! Hope you make it out with your wallet and sanity intact! 💸🌀😂
Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.
Commentary:
When you finally realize that your iPad has become the world's most expensive TV remote 🎮📱😂
I run every day for 30 minutes. If I miss a day, I add 30 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I’m supposed to run for 3 weeks.
Commentary:
As my new coach, Netflix is insisting on a marathon, but I think they misunderstood! 🏃♀️🍿📺
Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.
Commentary:
I guess my dad's still trying to find the receipt for the 'me' package 🤷♂️😂
Every marriage has a personality hire, and then someone who knows how insurance works.
Commentary:
Sounds like every marriage is its own comedy show, featuring one superstar and one financial wizard! 🤹♂️💼