Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Commenting “AI slop” under pictures of my friends’ kids opening presents.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,378

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

Just landed via Facebook:

My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

Spotted on Reddit:

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Going bananas on Telegram:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Spotted on Discord:

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

Spotted on Telegram:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

Going viral on X:

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

Just landed via X:

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

Funny extended edition quotes

New funny extended edition quotes 👇

All funny extended edition quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

72 shares on Threads this month:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

She was rare. Like a parking spot in the front row on a rainy day.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,650

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

My tombstone will read “Hey there, I’m using WhatsApp!”.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

The lion is actually pretty concerned right now.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

Making waves on Slack:

“It’s not that deep!” Well, I have a shovel and I enjoy digging for meaning.

Spotted on TikTok:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

Making waves on Facebook:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Just landed via Facebook:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Just shared via Messenger:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴