Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I hate finishing a series that I enjoyed, because what now?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,737

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Making waves on Messenger:

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Breaking via Twitch:

Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

Live now on WhatsApp:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

Trending via Twitch:

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

Trending via YouTube:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Breaking via Reddit:

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

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Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Discord this month:

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

Unpopular activity: minding your own business.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

92 shares on Discord this month:

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

11 shares on Reddit this month:

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

40 shares on Slack this month:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

25 shares on Threads this month:

Women are actually very understanding if you’re honest with them, especially if they like you. You don’t even have to do all that lying.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I downloaded a meditation app. Now I’m stressed about missing sessions.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,461

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Just landed via Facebook:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

Spotted on Facebook:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Just landed via Telegram:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Finally, we’re living through precedented times.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

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