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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,473

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Just landed via Threads:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Being single is better than asking a man to act like a man.

Just landed via Telegram:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The way Christmas shopping expects me to have money right now is, honestly, disrespectful.

Just shared via Threads:

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

Spotted on Messenger:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Funny faux pas quotes

New funny faux pas quotes 👇

All funny faux pas quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

50 shares on Discord this month:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.

75 shares on Threads this month:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

Being completely ignored on Twitter is associated with higher IQ.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

74 shares on Slack this month:

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,509

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Live now on TikTok:

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, Pokémon Go.

Freshly posted on Threads:

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Pyjamas straight off a hot radiator is a winner. Damn, I’m old.

Spotted on Telegram:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Live now on Telegram:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

Seen just now on Telegram:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

Trending via TikTok:

I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.

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