Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,547

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,547

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

3,607

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

Spotted on WeChat:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Just shared via Threads:

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

Trending via WeChat:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

Spotted on Snapchat:

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

Breaking via YouTube:

We could have high-speed rail that connects the entire country, but instead we get AI porn bots that steal all of our drinking water to entertain the dumbest people alive.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Home » Funny Felon Quotes

Funny felon quotes

New funny felon quotes 👇

All funny felon quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,547

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,547

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

3,836

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

Going viral on Instagram:

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

Trending via Pinterest:

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Spotted on X:

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

Just landed via Messenger:

Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

Live now on LinkedIn:

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

Trending via Instagram:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴