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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Just drank a big glass of water, and I regret to inform you, they might be right about hydration.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2414 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,576

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,576

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Reported on Slack:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Trending via X:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Live now on Threads:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Just shared via Slack:

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

Reported on X:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Live now on Reddit:

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

Trending via Snapchat:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2414 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,576

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,576

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,458

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

My favorite color is money.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Just landed via WeChat:

I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

Going viral on Messenger:

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

Going viral on Telegram:

It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

Trending via Facebook:

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

Spotted on Instagram:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Seen just now on Discord:

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

Reported on WhatsApp:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

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