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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

796 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,958

Funny Quotes Topics

13,929

Funny Quotes Images

10,958

25 minutes ago

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

Just shared via X:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Reported on Telegram:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

Just landed via Threads:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

Just shared via WeChat:

You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

Spotted on Telegram:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

Home » Funny Future House Quotes

Funny future house quotes

New funny future house quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Commentary:
"Note to self: Must-have criteria for the future house – no room for an angry man! 🚫🧔🏻‍♂️ Who needs that negative energy when the walls can be painted with happiness and laughter instead? 💁🏻‍♀️🏡 #NoAngryMenAllowed"

For even more funny future house quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny future house quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

796 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,958

Funny Quotes Topics

13,929

Funny Quotes Images

10,958

25 minutes ago

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Welcome to your 50’s, you’ll look for your phone while scrolling on your phone.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

Trending via WeChat:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

Trending via Telegram:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

Just landed via X:

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Breaking via Facebook:

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

Trending via Discord:

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

Just landed via Messenger:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m cold! That’s not goose bumps anymore, that’s woodchip wallpaper.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

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