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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1734 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,896

Funny Quotes Topics

14,715

Funny Quotes Images

11,896

Updated

11 seconds ago

Users Online

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Just shared via Slack:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Just shared via Messenger:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Going viral on Discord:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

Spotted on Messenger:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Just shared via Messenger:

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

Breaking via YouTube:

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

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Funny garbage can quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1734 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,896

Funny Quotes Topics

14,715

Funny Quotes Images

11,896

Updated

11 seconds ago

Users Online

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I hate when people are outside when I’m trying to parallel park. I need some privacy.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Just landed via Discord:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

Making waves on Slack:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Live now on WeChat:

I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

Trending via Snapchat:

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

Reported on X:

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

Seen just now on X:

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

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