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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

They should invent a day where it all works out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,689

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

Breaking via WeChat:

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Spotted on Instagram:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Freshly posted on X:

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

Going viral on Facebook:

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

Spotted on Pinterest:

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

Trending via TikTok:

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

Just shared via Discord:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Funny go out of business quotes

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All funny go out of business quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Telegram this month:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t put words in my mouth—that’s where the hot dogs go.

42 shares on WeChat this month:

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

87 shares on Reddit this month:

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

96 shares on Discord this month:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

You’re not stuck in traffic. You are traffic.

80 shares on Threads this month:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

25 shares on Threads this month:

I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Alexa, play everyone that played me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,272

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Going viral on WeChat:

Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

Making waves on WeChat:

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

Breaking via Facebook:

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

Going viral on Instagram:

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

Trending via Pinterest:

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

Breaking via Telegram:

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m attracted to people that no one pays attention to.

Spotted on WeChat:

The amount of sleeping I’ve done over the past few days has been phenomenal. I genuinely love doing absolutely nothing.

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