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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

D was probably like “lmao ok” when they named the alphabet the ABCs

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,906

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

Updated

23 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

Going viral on Facebook:

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

Breaking via Snapchat:

What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

Seen just now on Facebook:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

Just landed via Telegram:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Spotted on Reddit:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

Just shared via Twitch:

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,906

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

Updated

23 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

Just shared via TikTok:

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Spotted on WeChat:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

Trending via Pinterest:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

Trending via Facebook:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

You’re so productive for your wage.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

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