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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Have you tried complaining about it?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,413

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I have this ability where I can look at someone’s profile picture and determine whether they are evil or not.

Trending via Pinterest:

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

Making waves on Discord:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

Spotted on Facebook:

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

Funny Google Map quotes

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All funny Google Map quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

58 shares on X this month:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

42 shares on Messenger this month:

My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,488

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

He’s an everything bagel… I’m just a nothing burger…

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Twitch:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Making waves on Twitch:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

Just shared via Slack:

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

Going viral on Twitch:

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

Freshly posted on X:

I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

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