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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2386 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,548

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,548

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

Making waves on Reddit:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

Reported on Twitch:

Did you know if you hold your ear up to a stranger’s leg, you can actually hear them say, ‘What the hell are you doing?’

Trending via Pinterest:

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

Trending via Reddit:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2386 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,548

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,548

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,457

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Making waves on Discord:

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

Making waves on Slack:

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

Breaking via Twitch:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Reported on Messenger:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

Just landed via WeChat:

If we hadn’t made them extinct, instead of Kung Fu Panda we could have had Tae Kwon Dodo.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

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