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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,244

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Just shared via Reddit:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.

Just landed via Reddit:

Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

Trending via YouTube:

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Nudes are played out. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

Funny hard pants quotes

New funny hard pants quotes 👇

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

0

2 months ago

body, discomfort, early, hard, hard pants, having, humor, morning, pants, shock, wake, wake up, wear

Someone from 🇱🇧 has recently copied this quote.

63 shares on WeChat this month.

All funny hard pants quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on TikTok this month:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

82 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

87 shares on Discord this month:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

18 shares on Messenger this month:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

For Halloween, I will be okay.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Has anyone lived long enough to buy a second bottle of Worcestershire sauce?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Back in my day, if you were 14 on the internet, you kept that to yourself.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident.

Seen just now on Slack:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Making waves on WeChat:

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

Just shared via Threads:

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Cataclysmic events, such as your fingers on my skin.

Just landed via YouTube:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Breaking via Instagram:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

Just landed via Reddit:

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

Live now on Pinterest:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

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Activity Log ✨

Funny hard pants quotes

New funny hard pants quotes 👇

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

All funny hard pants quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨