Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,285

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

Live now on Snapchat:

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Valentine’s Day is a stupid and made up holiday unless someone wants to give me a present in which case I really believe in celebrating it.

Trending via Telegram:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

Seen just now on YouTube:

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

Just landed via Telegram:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Just shared via Instagram:

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

Seen just now on X:

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

Breaking via Messenger:

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

Just landed via X:

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

Funny hardware store quotes

Funny hardware store quotes are the perfect blend of DIY wisdom and belly laughs 🔨😂 Whether you’re a weekend warrior or just love a good pun, these gems will nail the humor right on the head 🛠️⚡ From quirky tool talk to wrenching wit, get ready to hammer out some smiles and screw in a little fun to your day! 😄🔧 #ToolTimeGiggles

New funny hardware store quotes 👇

All funny hardware store quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

21 shares on Slack this month:

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

100 shares on X this month:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

17 shares on X this month:

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,512

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

A pessimist is just an optimist playing hard to get.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

Making waves on Reddit:

Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be part of.

Breaking via Threads:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Shared recently on Telegram:

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Seen just now on Telegram:

In a relationship with my bedroom fan.

Trending via YouTube:

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

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