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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

My bank account is also in retrograde.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Nudes are played out. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I try to shoot all of my garbage into outer space, but usually it just lands in my neighbor’s backyard.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2037 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,199

Funny Quotes Topics

14,953

Funny Quotes Images

12,199

Updated

47 seconds ago

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

Going viral on Threads:

A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

Just shared via Facebook:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

Reported on X:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Spotted on Slack:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Spotted on Twitch:

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

Making waves on Instagram:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Home » Funny Hardware Store Quotes

Funny hardware store quotes

New funny hardware store quotes 👇

For even more funny hardware store quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny hardware store quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2037 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,199

Funny Quotes Topics

14,953

Funny Quotes Images

12,199

Updated

47 seconds ago

Users Online

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be turning you into a poem.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

Just landed via Reddit:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

Trending via Pinterest:

How about hold me as tight as you’re holding onto that grudge?

Going viral on Reddit:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

Just landed via Reddit:

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

Trending via YouTube:

You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Trending via WeChat:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Trending via YouTube:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

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