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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

The problem with self-checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Insane that you have to defend yourself at the end of the Ph. D.! Why are you attacking me? I’m so tired.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

I’m okay with being single. But at night, while I’m drunk, that’s too much.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Of all the things to lose, why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2419 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,581

Funny Quotes Topics

15,252

Funny Quotes Images

12,581

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,456

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

Trending via LinkedIn:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Seen just now on Slack:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

Reported on Telegram:

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Reported on Discord:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

Making waves on Discord:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

Live now on Instagram:

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

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Funny health book quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2419 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,581

Funny Quotes Topics

15,252

Funny Quotes Images

12,581

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on WeChat:

Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

Just landed via WeChat:

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Breaking via Threads:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Just landed via Twitch:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

Going viral on X:

“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

Seen just now on Reddit:

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

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