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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1962 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,124

Funny Quotes Topics

14,893

Funny Quotes Images

12,124

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Spotted on Threads:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

Going viral on Instagram:

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Live now on X:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Making waves on Snapchat:

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

Live now on X:

Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

Making waves on TikTok:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1962 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,124

Funny Quotes Topics

14,893

Funny Quotes Images

12,124

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Trending via Facebook:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

Spotted on TikTok:

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Reported on WeChat:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Just shared via Twitch:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

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