Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I’m sick of waking up thinking about the government, and going to bed thinking about the government.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,760

Funny Quotes Topics

17,769

Funny Quotes Images

15,760

Updated

Mar 1, 2026

Users Online

3,476

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Shared recently on TikTok:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Just shared via Telegram:

SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

Just shared via Facebook:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

Funny idleness quotes

New funny idleness quotes 👇

All funny idleness quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Twitch this month:

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

57 shares on Threads this month:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

My lips could use some attention today.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

68 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Every email sent to me should end with ‘but if your tummy is hurting, don’t worry about it.’

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,760

Funny Quotes Topics

17,769

Funny Quotes Images

15,760

Updated

Mar 1, 2026

Users Online

3,405

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Sometimes I glance over at my boyfriend, and he’s just looking at Google Maps, scrolling around.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Checking a selfie only to find there’s a demon in the reflection behind you, and it looks significantly healthier than you.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Trending via Snapchat:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Making waves on Reddit:

I need a massage for my brain.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Just landed via WeChat:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

Going bananas on Discord:

I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

Trending via X:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Going bananas on Telegram:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Breaking via Threads:

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

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