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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Just shared via Messenger:

Your opinions are not my business.

Just shared via Messenger:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

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Funny inappropriate thoughts quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Trending via Telegram:

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Shared recently on Messenger:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

Spotted on Slack:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Trending via Twitch:

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

Trending via YouTube:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

Making waves on X:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Shared recently on Threads:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

Making waves on Facebook:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

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