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Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

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Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

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You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

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My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

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I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

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Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

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Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

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Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

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Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

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AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

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Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

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Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

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It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

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If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

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I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

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Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

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Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

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Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

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Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

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A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Home » Funny Instructor Quotes

Funny instructor quotes

New funny instructor quotes

6 months ago
Share →: My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

Commentary:
Oh, downward dog-gone it! Looks like your yoga class took a twist worthy of the corkscrew pose! Time for a new instructor who can find their balance, both on and off the mat! #TipsyTreePose