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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

809 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,971

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,971

Updated

32 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

Spotted on X:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

Making waves on Discord:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

Breaking via Messenger:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

809 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,971

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,971

Updated

32 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Trending via Threads:

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

Live now on Facebook:

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

Reported on Reddit:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Just landed via Facebook:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

Just landed via Threads:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Seen just now on Reddit:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

Just shared via Threads:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

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