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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2251 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,413

Funny Quotes Topics

15,120

Funny Quotes Images

12,413

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

Just shared via Slack:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

Just shared via Discord:

My mom didn’t raise a fool. Possibly a psycho, but never a fool.

Trending via WhatsApp:

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

Just shared via Reddit:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

Just shared via X:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Seen just now on WeChat:

Another Monday that no one asked for.

Trending via Pinterest:

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication dating day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2251 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,413

Funny Quotes Topics

15,120

Funny Quotes Images

12,413

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

Making waves on Messenger:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Making waves on Twitch:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Seen just now on Discord:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Going viral on Messenger:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

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