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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2138 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,300

Funny Quotes Topics

15,025

Funny Quotes Images

12,300

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

They’re making me do work at work.

Live now on Slack:

Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

Making waves on Twitch:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

Just shared via Instagram:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Freshly posted on X:

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

Just shared via TikTok:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Trending via Twitch:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Live now on Twitch:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

Home » Funny Invest Quotes

Funny invest quotes

Funny invest quotes bring a lighthearted twist to the serious world of money and markets 💸😂 Whether you’re a seasoned trader or just starting out, these witty gems will make you chuckle while thinking about stocks 📈🤓 Get ready to smile through the ups and downs and maybe even pick up a clever tip or two along the way! 🚀💡 #InvestWithHumor

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For even more funny invest quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny invest quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2138 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,300

Funny Quotes Topics

15,025

Funny Quotes Images

12,300

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Wanna know a real adult life hack? Don’t tell anyone when you have a day off. Absolutely no one.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Freshly posted on Instagram:

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

Live now on X:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Going viral on Slack:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Reported on Threads:

Never trust a wet fart.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

Making waves on Reddit:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

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