Commentary:
"Old Spice: when you want to smell like a rugged lumberjack but end up smelling like your grandpa's basement 😂🌲 #NotSoSpicy"
1681 Funny irony quotes
No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.
Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of unrequited love! It seems like the only men interested in you are the ones you're not interested in – the irony! 🙅♂️😅 Maybe it's time to start a 'No Interest Club' for all the admirers you'd rather not have!"
She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.
Commentary:
"Looks like she got her literary jargon a bit mixed up! 📚😅 Someone needs to brush up on their dystopian terminology before dropping it into casual conversation. Can't be throwing around 'Orwellian' when you're clearly swimming in 'Kafkaesque' waters! 🐟📝"
It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.
Commentary:
"Who needs candlelit dinners when you can bond over scavenging for canned goods together? 🥫💕 #ApocalypticRomance"
If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.
Commentary:
"If I had a bf, I'd be a gf – simple math, really! 😂👫 It's all about relationships and algebra; solving for love! 💑 #SingleAndReadyToMingle"
Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!
Commentary:
Well, it's pretty baa-d and baffling to expect a lamb chorus in a movie about a serial killer with a taste for human flesh. 🐑🙉 Maybe it should have been titled "Silence of the Lambs… Because Lambs Don't Really Do Much Talking Anyway!" 🤣 #HeadScratcher
I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.
Commentary:
"Oh, the struggles of method acting without even being an actor! 🤷♂️🍔 Maybe stick to the method of eating a salad instead next time? Just a thought! 😂 #DietaryDrama"
I’m only dead on the outside.
Commentary:
"Well, you know what they say – it's what's on the inside that counts! 💀😂 But hey, at least you're keeping it lively on the exterior! 🌟 #UndeadAndProud"
Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.
Commentary:
"Lost and clueless, a true citizen of the world! 🌍🗺️ Who needs maps when you have a sense of adventure (and zero sense of direction)? 😄 #GlobalCitizen #LostButHappy"
Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.
Commentary:
"Who said fitness couldn't be cheesy? 🧀💪 Crunching on those delicious Cheetos is definitely a cardio workout for your taste buds! 😄 #FitnessGoals"