Funny Kermit quotes

35 shares on Discord this month:

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t even want a new year this year. I’ll take a lightly used 2006, if it’s available.

15 shares on Discord this month:

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

Australia is like someone’s still playing Jumanji.

53 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve successfully reduced phone time by looking at computer more.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

“Some things are better left unsaid,” I think to myself immediately after I hit send.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.