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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2414 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,576

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,576

Updated

44 minutes ago

Users Online

3,456

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Just shared via Messenger:

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Breaking via Messenger:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

Trending via TikTok:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Making waves on YouTube:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

Going viral on Reddit:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

Shared recently on Facebook:

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier man.

Spotted on Facebook:

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Live now on Threads:

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Home » Funny Kitchen Joke Quotes

Funny kitchen joke quotes

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All funny kitchen joke quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2414 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,576

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,576

Updated

44 minutes ago

Users Online

3,459

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Men be like “I would do anything for you” and then do nothing.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Breaking via Slack:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Trending via Pinterest:

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

Just shared via Facebook:

The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

Making waves on Slack:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Just landed via Discord:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

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