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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,779

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

Just landed via Reddit:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Freshly posted on Discord:

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

People be like “bear with me” and they don’t even have a bear with them.

Trending via Telegram:

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Going viral on Snapchat:

What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Breaking via TikTok:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

Funny knife fight quotes

Funny knife fight quotes 🔪😂 bring a sharp twist to any conversation! Whether you’re slicing through tension or just looking for some witty banter, these clever lines add humor to even the tensest moments. Perfect for sharing with friends or spicing up your social feed, they prove that sometimes laughter is the best defense. Ready to cut through the dullness? Let’s dive into some hilarious and cheeky sayings! ✂️😄

New funny knife fight quotes 👇

All funny knife fight quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on TikTok this month:

Santa went woke and gave me a small solar panel instead of coal.

57 shares on Threads this month:

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

Cataclysmic events, such as your fingers on my skin.

63 shares on Threads this month:

Be the reason someone burns sage.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

93 shares on Reddit this month:

My problem is I buy outfits I don’t have shoes for and shoes I don’t have outfits for.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,010

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror films to relax the viewer before sleeping.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

Trending via Pinterest:

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

Going viral on X:

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

Spotted on Telegram:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Just landed via WeChat:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Just shared via Discord:

The world contains protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

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