Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

A pessimist is just an optimist playing hard to get.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

“Are you single?” No, I’m in a hallucinationship.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Hold on, let me overthink this.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Dec 1, 2025

3,605

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.

Going viral on X:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Spotted on TikTok:

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Just landed via YouTube:

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

Live now on WhatsApp:

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

Making waves on Reddit:

Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

Home » Funny Knife Fight Quotes

Funny knife fight quotes

Funny knife fight quotes 🔪😂 bring a sharp twist to any conversation! Whether you’re slicing through tension or just looking for some witty banter, these clever lines add humor to even the tensest moments. Perfect for sharing with friends or spicing up your social feed, they prove that sometimes laughter is the best defense. Ready to cut through the dullness? Let’s dive into some hilarious and cheeky sayings! ✂️😄

New funny knife fight quotes 👇

3 weeks ago

Commentary:
"Who needs a knife when you have diplomacy and common sense on your side? 🤣 Talk about bringing a classy arsenal to a potentially pointy situation! 🤷‍♂️ #BrainsOverBlades"

anything, avoidance, bring, fight, humor, i, knife, knife fight, need, self-preservation
4 weeks ago

Commentary:
"Trying to bring a fitted sheet to a knife fight is like showing up to a gun show with a water gun 💦💪 Talk about being unprepared! You might as well bring a pillow to a pillow fight. Sweet dreams, I guess! 😄🔪"

absurdity, conflict, fight, fitted, fitted sheet, humor, irony, knife, knife fight, preparation, sheet, unexpected

All funny knife fight quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Dec 1, 2025

4,028

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

Just shared via Instagram:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

Spotted on Instagram:

Back to the Future and chill?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Making waves on TikTok:

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Freshly posted on Slack:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴