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4 months ago
Share →: I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of 'casual on the outside, circus on the inside.' Just imagine all the clowns, acrobats, and wild animals running amok in there. Sounds like quite the show!"
6 months ago
Share →: Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

Commentary:
"Starting the day with a fierce twerk and some self-love, because why not? 💃🪞💤 Who needs coffee when you've got that kind of energy boost! 😂 #MorningMotivation"

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

That fight could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Just shared via WhatsApp:

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

Shared recently on Instagram:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Trending via Instagram:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Reported on YouTube:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

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Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

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