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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t know if I’m still tired or already tired.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,309

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

You’re acting up? Right before Santa Claus comes to town? Unbelievable.

Live now on Messenger:

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Making waves on Threads:

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Just landed via Pinterest:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Funny laid-back quotes

Funny laid-back quotes are the perfect chill pill for your day 😎✨ They bring a mix of humor and easygoing vibes that make stress disappear like magic 🪄😂 Whether you need a quick laugh or a reminder to take it slow, these playful sayings will keep you smiling and relaxed all day long 🌴☀️ So kick back, unwind, and let the good vibes roll! 😌🎉

New funny laid-back quotes 👇

All funny laid-back quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

26 shares on Discord this month:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

99 shares on TikTok this month:

I can show you the stars, we just have to stand up really fast.

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

God gives the most irritable bowels to the most beautiful angels.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I missed out on drowning tragically young in a suburban swimming pool.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

Water is a drink whose flavor is its temperature.

75 shares on X this month:

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The two most popular things to do on the internet are arguing about politics and looking at naked people. Million dollar website idea: combine both — naked people arguing about politics.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Typing in your email address on the TV is a different type of irritation.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,484

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

My mom is asking each ornament, “Where do you want to live?” before putting them on the tree.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you aren’t the one paying for it. Stop!

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

My Indian name would be “Stares at Phone All Day.”

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Just done a HIIT workout and if anyone sees me trying to do that again just go ahead and hiit me in the face.

Going viral on Instagram:

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Trending via Instagram:

To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.

Just shared via Threads:

My theory is that women’s voices contain frequencies that men simply can’t hear.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

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