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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

15 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Don’t tell me to trust my gut. Thats where I put my snacks. Clearly that’s where I’m the weakest.

Live now on Slack:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

Just landed via Messenger:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Just landed via Telegram:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Trending via Telegram:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

Just shared via Twitch:

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

Home » Funny Laid Off Quotes

Funny laid off quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

15 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m so single, even my husband won’t match with me on Tinder.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Trending via LinkedIn:

A McRib killed my tapeworm.

Spotted on X:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

Reported on Pinterest:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Live now on Facebook:

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Just landed via Discord:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

Just shared via Discord:

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

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