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2 days ago
Share →: I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

Commentary:
Hey, at least Siri's got your "Hey!" covered! Now, if only humans came with built-in neon lights… 😂💡

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

Just shared via Slack:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

Reported on Reddit:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Going viral on Messenger:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Just shared via TikTok:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Live now on TikTok:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

Going viral on Threads:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

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Funny light up quotes

New funny light up quotes 👇

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All funny light up quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

And then the vodka whispered, “Say what you really think.”

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end and tomorrow to start.

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

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