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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

We decided to have money instead of children.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

My bank account is also in retrograde.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Don’t worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Spreading quickly via X:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Spotted on Twitch:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

Trending via Messenger:

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

Spotted on Twitch:

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Broadcasted on Instagram:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Trending via Pinterest:

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

Just shared via X:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Live now on WhatsApp:

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

Just landed via TikTok:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Reported on YouTube:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

Spotted on TikTok:

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

Trending via YouTube:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Just shared via Messenger:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Just shared via Telegram:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Just shared via Threads:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

Just shared via Reddit:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

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