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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

Seen just now on Discord:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Shared recently on Facebook:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

Going viral on Telegram:

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

Just shared via WeChat:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

Shared recently on Telegram:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Going viral on Threads:

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

Breaking via Slack:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,453

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

Spotted on X:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Trending via YouTube:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

Seen just now on Threads:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

Shared recently on Instagram:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Mike is short for Micycle.

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