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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,994

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,994

Updated

13 seconds ago

Users Online

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Making waves on Facebook:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

Making waves on Telegram:

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

Making waves on Facebook:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Trending via Slack:

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

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Funny Lucifer quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,994

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,994

Updated

13 seconds ago

Users Online

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

Making waves on YouTube:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

Going viral on Twitch:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Reported on WeChat:

All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

Just shared via WeChat:

Who needs a dominatrix when you can be beaten up by an automatically retracting vacuum cleaner cable?

Spotted on Discord:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Spotted on TikTok:

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Trending via Reddit:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

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