Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Just being myself is how we got into this mess.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Every few months, the urge to eat buttered toast will possess you.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,743

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Shared recently on Discord:

Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

Going viral on Facebook:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

Going bananas on Discord:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

Just shared via Reddit:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

Going bananas on X:

Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

Live now on Discord:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Funny math class quotes

New funny math class quotes 👇

All funny math class quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Slack this month:

I hate when someone you love says mean things like, “It’s time to wake up.”

68 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

If you want to feel really bad about yourself, just start dating.

69 shares on Discord this month:

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

78 shares on Threads this month:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I try to shoot all of my garbage into outer space, but usually it just lands in my neighbor’s backyard.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,688

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Situationship where the situation is being madly in love with each other.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Going bananas on Telegram:

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

Just shared via Slack:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

Breaking via YouTube:

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

Just landed via Discord:

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Seen just now on Discord:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

Shared recently on WeChat:

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

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