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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Probably the worst thing about pyramid schemes is how they make you advertise to all your friends and family that you are part of a pyramid scheme.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,749

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Going viral on TikTok:

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

Spreading quickly via Slack:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Just shared via YouTube:

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Making waves on Messenger:

The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

Making waves on Slack:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

Funny meanness quotes

New funny meanness quotes 👇

All funny meanness quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on WeChat this month:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

“It gets to a point” is one of my favourite phrases because it literally does get to a point sometimes.

50 shares on X this month:

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,497

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

If porn damages your brain, and writing develops your brain, does writing porn even it out?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

Going viral on YouTube:

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Just landed via Reddit:

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

Just landed via Reddit:

I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

Just landed via Instagram:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Trending via Reddit:

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

Going viral on WeChat:

Little do my friends know they’re healing me every time we hang out.

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